Foundation Façade or Foolproof?

AliciaService Reflections1 Comment

Much time and meticulous preparation is taken in the engineering of modern day structures to ensure they can withstand earthquakes, gale force winds, floods and other unexpected natural disasters. The key to every highly engineered building is the careful planning and process of laying a strong foundation. From surveying the site, to assessing wind currents and pouring the right kind of concrete.

Our acceptance of Jesus into our hearts, putting our faith in Him and His Word into practice in our daily lives is the foundation we should build upon as we grow in spiritual maturity. Such growth sometimes only seems to come as we’ve weathered storms where all we could do was trust…and maybe not the person we thought we should be able to trust the most. When cumulative hurt, anger, confusion and perhaps even feelings of betrayal left us feeling isolated and clouded our spiritual perspective…when all we could do was put one foot in front of the other and trust Jesus to see us through. It’s times like this we can either choose to be transparent and press in or gradually allow our happiness to become nothing more than an illusion, while ignoring the hairline cracks forming in our foundation. I chose the latter, not truly believing my Christian friends to be a safe place to fall, moreover not trusting myself to be entirely responsible with my painful truth either.

I hid the fact that I was unhappy in my marriage as the seeds of bitterness and unforgiveness towards my husband began taking root in my heart. Until one day I blurted out to him “I’m done.’ I received a call later that day from a spiritual mentor who told me my husband had called her. I was infuriated! Didn’t she know what was really going on behind our closed doors, beyond the smiles she saw in church? To my surprise she said he’d told her everything…and indeed he had! I was as scared as I was relieved and knew he’d reached out to her because he was finally ready to go to counseling…well…by then I was so beyond that point that I only agreed to go because I didn’t want to let her (my spiritual mentor) down.

For the next three years my husband and I went to weekly counseling; where I bared my soul, was prodded to the point of tears too many times, found validation, was ripped open wide and challenged to forgive. Within those walls I’d never seen my husband so mad at the words that were spoken to him, but he kept coming back, kept listening and began to surrender to the process of healing some of the wounds that led him to the broken man I married. Along the way I learned that Jesus is my safe and sure foundation, no matter my circumstance. I also learned that even now, in my stubbornness and residual resentment born out of that prolonged pain that I, by my actions essentially take a sledgehammer to my foundation, our foundation, and swing it with all my might, reminding him of what was… I sure am glad Jesus doesn’t remind me of my past, instead he kneels down and begins repair and seal the cracks I’ve created with grace.

It’s times like this we can either choose to be transparent and press in or gradually allow our happiness to become nothing more than an illusion, while ignoring the hairline cracks forming in our foundation

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