How do I react to a divisive person in my life?
Do I respond in kind or do I set aside my wounded pride and my “right” to hang onto the hurt, look past their behavior and reach out in love? Much easier said than done, especially when what they’ve done (or are doing) is an established pattern of behavior. Do I take an unnecessary position, cause further division and sin in my anger just because I feel justified? How can I do ANYTHING out of love for Christ when I don’t even know what to do next? Particularly when I’m so busying pointing out how the one who wronged me can’t see beyond on the end of their nose that I fail to see beyond mine either to see God’s protective hand in the midst. Does this mean I have to run out and embrace a divisive person? No, it means I don’t become a divisive person in the process of figuring out what God is calling me to do within it.
These are the words I wanted to eloquently open with. I wanted to concisely share my thoughts reflecting on a recent trial, but I find them scattered with shards of resentment, pain, anger and fear preventing my thought process from coming together…because the trial I face is not behind me. I am daily facing the reality of a divisive destructive person in my life. I can’t ignore their actions anymore, yet am unsure of each step I take in dealing with them. Why? Not because I fear that truth won’t prevail and I won’t be vindicated. I’m afraid that I’ll use my words like weapons and destroy any witness I have with this person. I have a quick wit and am a bold witness for my beliefs, yet I also can have a sharp tongue when I’ve been really wronged. The world may cheer me on as I verbally defeat this person, but my heart will break even while the words are still fresh on my tongue. Moreover God’s heart will break for an opportunity missed to share His love. Even when love may mean just shutting my mouth and trusting His timing.
Why do I share this now my friends? If I find true grace, intimacy and mercy at the foot of the cross when I’m real, then I MUST be authentic here with you to break through this battle waging in my mind and in my life right now. How do I now unwillingly find myself mired in an absolutely asinine clash of wills and perceptions, where my “opponent” per se is determined to win at all costs? Thus what do I do when I’m someone’s unwarranted target? I’m still figuring that out… I do know this though, I daily seek Godly counsel in the voices of my friends and family, I listen for that still small voice in the dead of night when I can’t sleep and am praying for my heart not to harden, choose moment by moment if necessary to take the road less traveled and just be still and KNOW that GOD IS GOD.